Tonight I opened up my training book and looked at this weeks schedule. "That's all?" I thought to myself. The next two weeks are known as the "taper" which is when workouts get scaled back to allow the body to heal and be ready for the race which is in 12 days. Twelve. Days. The words scare me to death. This morning Demetrius and I were messaging back at forth and he asked me how I was feeling with the count down. I told him that the thought of racing in 12 days made me feel sick. Always positive, he responded by saying "Sick of waiting?" I said, "More like scared to death of it being here." Again being positive, he said, "No need for that. Fear is not in the composition of iron." He often reminds me that I am strong, even when I start to doubt myself. His words lingered with me all day long. Every time doubt and fear start to creep in, I think, "Fear is not in the composition of iron." I may print that out and put it on my mirror. Those were words I needed to hear at that moment. 

So now that I have a moment... what should I put in my special needs bag for race day? I think of foods I crave when I am working out. Right now, I know that red grapes will be in my bag for the bike and for the run. Lays potato chips (something I discovered I "needed" during my 82.5 mile ride a few weeks ago. Ibuprofen... Hmmm, what else.... I have heard people say to put a picture of someone or something that you can look forward to. Definitely going to be printing pictures of loved ones before race day! It's going to be an amazing day. I can't wait to meet my competitors!

Last night I was putting my bag together for everything I needed for today's workout. I knew I would be riding my bike (which is all tuned up, new chain, new cassette and ready to be broken in!) so I packed everything I knew I would need. As I looked through my closet for a jersey, I came across something I haven't worn in a while: My USA Triathlon jacket. I bought it a couple years ago so I would have something light to wear as the weather got cooler. It also looks super cool and I feel like a professional athlete when I wear it. 

As I moved some things around in the closet, I started thinking about where I started in this sport, and where I am now. I remember my first triathlon in 2008... I remember every detail about it. I especially remember how the air temperature was 42 degrees when we got out of the pool. I rode on a hybrid bike. I ran in a bike jersey and workout pants. Fast forward to this past May when I rode my Masi carbon road bike, complete with aerobars, wore actual triathlon gear, and qualified for Team USA at the Long Course Duathlon National Championships. I earned a spot for the World Team, but ultimately turned it down because of expenses. Regardless, I qualified for the team and that was a huge accomplishment. 

By no means do I consider myself fast. I think of myself as pretty average and subscribe to the idea of "If I can do it, anyone can." What it comes down to is determination, persistence, and never walking away from things when they get tough. I don't think that what I do is overly exceptional. I'm just a girl who wakes up before the sun comes up, works out, goes to work, comes home, takes care of things around the house, sometimes works out again, and then goes to bed, just to do it all over again the next day. 

Triathlon training gives me time to self reflect. People ask me what I think about when I am swimming for over an hour. They comment that it must be boring to stare at a black line at the bottom of the pool for lap after lap. My arms sometimes get a little tired, but for the most part they operate on autopilot and I don't even think about what I am doing. After about 500 yards, my heart rate stabilizes and I just cruise. I bought a new training watch that keeps up with my laps, so I don't have to even think about hitting the lap button every 100 yards to keep up with my distance. Instead, I just think about everything going on in the world. I think about Justus and how his spirit will get me across the finish line. I think about my kids at school and wonder what they are doing at home... I wonder what they see at home and if they are safe inside their homes.  I think about what I might blog about. I think about what Demetrius is doing at work, I think about the person swimming next to me and wonder what they are training for. Sometimes I try to race that person to the end of the pool. I wear earplugs when I swim so things are very quiet. There are times that the pool is crowded and people are yelling, throwing pool toys across the water, doing cannon balls, participating in lessons and classes, and I just tune it all out and swim. Sometimes I look at my watch and realize I am nearly finished with my workout. I have a moment of self reflection and realize that I could keep swimming that pace all day if I had to. It's an amazing feeling.

Ironman is two weeks away. I have been training specifically for this race since April of this year. I have already started to wonder what my next challenge will be after this race is over. It's not that I am wishing time away or anything. I just know that I always need a goal and some sort of direction or else I train aimlessly and that's no fun. 

For now, I need to lay down for a little bit before my next workout of the day: BRICK!!!!  That workout will be a 2 hour bike ride and a 1 hour run, bringing today's workout total to just under 5 hours. Seriously, what will I do three Saturday's from now? Sitting on my ass is NOT an option.

So I haven't posted in almost two months. What have I been doing this whole time? Well, if you must ask, I have been busy training, and then school started back a few weeks ago. My training is right on target and the distances I have been completing in the last two weeks have been more that I dreamed of years ago.

My most recent accomplishments are that I swam 4250 yards in the pool (just over 2.4 miles) and I completed my first 100 mile bike ride, which is a goal I have had for the last 15 years. As my bike computer reached 99.9 miles, it occurred to me that I was about to do something I have never done before. I was about to reach the dream of many cyclists which is to ride a century, also known as 100 miles. What seemed out of reach for so many years was about to become a reality. The computer clicked over to 100.0 and I had tears in my eyes. I finally did it... Also, I was still 3.48 miles out from the car, so my ride was not over yet! I do plan to write a much longer blog about this experience, but right now I just want to give the quick details and I will save story time for later!

The swim... I remember watching people at the gym swim for what seemed like forever and I admired their lung capacity. How did they do it?? Now I get in the pool with more confidence than ever before, start swimming, hit my watch every 100 yards, then and hour or two later, I take my goggles off and hit the shower like it's just another day. I do have to admit when I hit 4250 last Wednesday, I wanted to tell everyone what I had just done! It was a huge accomplishment and made me feel better about my chances of making it before the cutoff at Ironman.

Finally, the last piece of good news is that my bike accident case is finally over. I picked up my settlement check from the lawyer's office this week and my medical bills are in the process of being paid by the guy's insurance company. This took nearly a year and a half,but I am proud to say that I can finally move on with life. Side story real quick... yesterday I went out for a run and was nearly hit by the mail carrier jeep. All I can say is that if drivers would simply look in front of them before they hit the gas pedal after being at a complete stop, we would all be much safer. Thanks to my quick reflexes, I turned my upper body just in time to miss getting nailed by the side mirror. And of course my thought was "I'll be damned if I settled one case yesterday, and today I get hit by another mirror." Oh the irony of it all....

There is so much else to say but I wanted to give a quick update while I had 15 minutes to write. Much more to come later... Next week I start to taper, so I will feel like I have much more free time than I have had in the last 6 months!